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Melodramatic · Recounting · of · Events · in · My · Life
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Okay, so after a month, I finally have computer access again, and I'm uber excited. So much has happened in that time, so let me give you a brief rundown... ~I'm working days at Bank of America and nights at Robinson's May at night. Fun times.
~Garrett and I dated for less than two weeks and he dumped me because "the mental and emotional attraction isn't catching up to the physical." Also fun times.
~Chris and I talked and he told me that he was starting to regret his decison to date his girfriend rather than me. I told "I can't say I didn't see it coming." and I was dancing as I said it. That actually was fun times.
~Got to hang out with Ashley at Downtown Disney, (Garrett came with me and when we got home, he dumped me) and it was awesome. I miss that girl so much. We still do the whole saying the exact same thing at the same time thing. Yay for fun times! That's about it. My life is so incredibly boring right now. I'm still trying to pick myself up from getting dumped, but other than that, things are going pretty well right now. I miss making-out... ~Kimberly Snowe~ |
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Okay, here's the scoop: I haven't spoken with Chris in over two weeks, and although I'm over him, I still miss talking to him. We were getting to be really super good friends, and he was the only person that actually called to talk to me. Now my phone never rings... I just started work at Bank of America. I think I'm going to like it. Sure it's kind of repetitive, but it's consistenly busy all the time and the day actually goes by really quickly... and that's with me just standing behind someone watching them process transactions (I haven't gone to teller school yet... that's week after next) I'm lonely. I have A friend - she's a great friend and I love hanging out with her, but she's only one friend. I miss my roommates and all the people I used to hang out with in Provo. That, and I really wish I had a boyfriend, or at least a potential, out here to take up some of my free time. So many of my friends are getting engaged or are already married - Natalee (married), Lynette (m), Crystal (engaged), Sara (e), Rachel (m), Sean (m), Fabiola (e)... not to mention all the people from my freshman ward who are already married and the people from last fall/winter. It's just depressing. Sometimes it feels like everything around me is moving forward so quickly while my life has come to a screeching halt and I'm just stagnating. Soon I'll be a smelly lump of rotting goo and I will never have dated anyone except Apollo (Oh please don't let that happen to me!) and I will never get married and I will never have accomplished anything in this life. It's sort of like that feeling when you just stand on the beach and let the waves receed while you stand still... everything feels like it's moving so fast, and it feels like you're going backward or that you're going to fall over. I'm just tired of being the one without a relationship. I want to be loved - I want to know what it feels like to like someone and have them actually like you back... that would be such a change that I don't know what I would do with myself! Sigh. Sigh again. ~Kimberly Snowe~
Current Mood: |
 depressed |
Current Music: |
Nothing but my own incessant thoughts | |
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Reply with your name and
1. I'll respond with something random about you.
2. I'll tell you what song/movie reminds me of you.
3. I'll pick a flavor of jello to wrestle with you in. (Um, this one's dumb. New #3: I'll tell you what your superpower would be.)
4. I'll say something that only makes sense to you and me.
5. I'll tell you my first memory of you.
6. I'll tell you what animal you remind me of.
7. I'll ask you something that I've always wondered about you.
8. If I do this for you, you must post this on your journal. You MUST. It is written. |
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The Chris saga is officially over. I got an email Monday saying that he was dating some girl named Megan. I'm not entirely sure how I feel about the whole thing at this point. He said he still wants to be my friend, and I wrote him back and said that I wanted to be friends too, but that I wasn't going to call him. I told him that how our friendship proceeds from here is entirely up to him, and that he should call when he deemed appropriate. I have yet to hear from him. I called my old apartment and talked to Caitlin and Ashley (Ash was on one phone and Cait on another so they could both hear and talk to me) and when I told them what had happened the both said that I could definitely find some one better, and better suited for me and then I I heard "*COUGH* DOUG! *COUGH*" I just laughed, but It made me feel way better. Ashley has said on several occasions that she thinks Doug and I would really work, and I whole-heartedly agree. I don't know what it is about him that keeps me hanging on, but the feelings I have for him have never fully gone away, they just recede every now and then so I can try out someone new, and when that inevitably fails, Doug fever springs right back in to my life. Good times. I'm just having a hard time dealing with everything right now. ~Kimberly~
Current Mood: |
 confused |
Current Music: |
Brad Paisley - Make a Mistake With Me | |
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Even though I'm sad I didn't get to go up to Utah for Conference, I'm just glad I still got to watch it. My bishop invited the ward over to his house to watch both sessions of conference today and we had a yummy brunch in between. After we ate, some of us just sat there talking and laughing, and it was actually really fun. I only went to the Bishop's house because I thought it would make it feel more like I was in Utah, surrounded by people my age and talking and laughing in between and not really paying attention to the choir numbers all that closely, but I'm really glad I went because I had a good time. I think it helped people start to see the real me and how cool I am. Hopefully it makes them want to hang out with me and call me to do stuff, because I REALLY need friends right now. Tonight I started crying for no reason. I was just standing in the middle of my room sobbing... I really needed a hug, and I still do. That's one of the things I miss most about Provo, having roommates and always having someone around to give you a hug. I have just been feeling so alone lately. I know there are tons of people that love and care about me, but right now it just doesn't feel that way. Nobody ever calls to see how I'm doing... I can't remember the last time I talked to any of my old roommates. It just makes me sad because I feel like I've been forgotten, and that's not a fun feeling. ~Kimberly~
Current Mood: |
drained |
Current Music: |
Josh Gracin - Brass Bed | |
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Seriously? As of yesterday I told myself that I was done with Chris. He had forgotten my birthday and I just didn't want to be disappointed anymore. I was going to be his friend, but I wasn't going to be the one to call or make contact of any kind, and that I didn't have feelings for him anymore. Well... all that crap about not having feelings for him went out the window tonight when he called me. My phone was off during institute so he left me a message. When I listened to it and heard his voice I got butterflies in my stomach and I started smiling and I felt all happy and excited. What is wrong with me? How can I just forgive and forget so easily? I guess it's a good thing, but it just sets me up for more heartache. I called him back and we talked for an hour and it was so good to talk to him again. I still like him a lot. I am so incredibly ridiculous. Does any one agree/disagree?
Current Mood: |
confused |
Current Music: |
Tim McGraw - "Watch the Wind Blow By" | |
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Welp... yesterday was my birthday and it pretty much sucked. I didn't get anything from my parents because they assumed they were paying for me to go to conference, and then that didn't work out, so they didn't have anything for me. I didn't get any cake, or any kind of dessert at all for that matter, because we ate at a chinese food place. When my mom took me to Robinson's May to buy me stuff, we ended up buying mattress sets for Sierra and Zachary instead. Chris forgot it was my birthday. The dance SUCKED because the dj was playing pretty much the worst music ever. I hadn't heard hardly any of the songs he played and they weren't really songs you can dance to. I just left early and went home. The only good part of the entire day was when I bought myself a jamba juice and then went over to Best Buy and bought myself The Goonies on DVD and the semi cute checkout guy and I talked about how freaking cool that movie is. I'm 20 now. woo hoo. ~Kimberly~
Current Mood: |
 tired |
Current Music: |
The wirring noise my computer is making | |
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I had such an awesome day today! I found a Kitchen Aid mixer today at work that is %75 off! It's normally $280, which brings the price down to $70, and after the coupon, my discount, and the extra discount I'll get when I buy it on Friday for employee appreciation day, it will be $50! And I told my mom about it and she said she would buy it for me and put it away for Christmas, which is perfectly fine, because I can just use hers until then! I'm so excited! I've wanted one for forever, and a day! Wahooo! Then I was wandering around the department when I heard my phone go off saying I had a new voicemail, so I crouched behind a display and listened to it, and it was Chris apologizing for being in such a bad mood last night and telling me that he was at work and just wanted to call and say "Hi!" Oh, I was happy. So I called him back after I closed out my register and we talked for 10 minutes until he had to go finish closing up. It made me all happy and bouncy and stuff. Then I got home and checked my email, and I had a really sweet email from Staci, one of my old roommates, who I had been talking to online before I went to work. I told her about how sad I was and my conversation with Chris last night, and so she emailed me to try to cheer me up. I love her to death... especially now that we're not living together... And on top of all that, I get to go to Utah next weekend for General Conference. The closing date on our house got pushed back a week, so I can go now! My parents are paying for a plane ticket for my birthday. That means I get to see Chris! So today was just a freaking awesome day. Sigh. I can't stop smiling. ~Kimberly~
Current Mood: |
 bouncy |
Current Music: |
Babyface - Everytime I Close My Eyes | |
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Have you ever been really depressed, and you know what made you that way, but you don't know why? And I mean seriously depressed. I don't even feel like walking ten feet to the freezer to get my Ben and Jerry's Half Baked ice cream, that's how awful I feel. I don't understand this. Chris normally makes me so happy, but I just got off the phone with him and I feel terrible. I kinda just want to crawl in a hole and never come out. Can I do that? I wish I had someone that could make me laugh and forget about everything... oh, wait... I do have someone like that. It's Chris... but he's the one that made me like this. ~Kimberly~
Current Mood: |
depressed |
Current Music: |
Faith Hill - Wish For You | |
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I scored the movies I.Q. and Swing Kids in the $5 bin at Walmart today. It made me happy... something which I haven't really felt a lot in the past week or so. I also got a DVD entitled, "Fraggle Rock; Where it All Began" which has the first two episodes of Fraggle Rock, plus two bonus episodes. I'm watching it right now, and I don't think it will ever cease to be awesome. ~Kimberly~
Current Mood: |
 cheerful |
Current Music: |
watching my Fraggle Rock DVD | |
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I am so lonely.
Current Mood: |
depressed | |
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GRRRRRRRR!!! The one thing I'm looking forward to in my life right now, and of course, my parents succeed in tearing it to pieces. I have seriously been looking forward to General Conference for at least a month now. I've been excited for it for forever, and it actually looked like my parents were going to pay for me to go up to Utah so I could see it in the conference center (which I've surprisingly never done) as my birthday present. But now I've just found out that not only am I not going to get to go up to Utah for conference... I'm not going to get to watch conference at all! AHHHHHHH!!! That's the weekend we're moving and my parents "need my help." I DON'T CARE!! I don't care that we're moving into a new house. I don't care that they need my help. I DON'T CARE!! This is going to be the worst birthday ever. Not only am I not getting the one thing I really wanted, but I can't even go do something with my non-exsistent friends on my birthday because I have to work 1:15-10:15. This blows hard core. ~Kimberly~
Current Mood: |
 pissed off | |
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Okay, so Chris called me tonight. My phone rings as I'm walking out to my car after work, and I figure it's my mom, though (as with everytime my phone rings) I hope it's Chris... and this time it was! So of course I have a smile bigger than... something with a really big smile... on my face as I answer the phone and curious to see why he was calling. Well, to my pleasant surprise, he was just calling to chat and to see how my day went! Yay! We ended up talking for 90 minutes and 13 seconds... which, in case you were wondering, is an hour and a half! Mother of pearl that makes me happy! ~Kimberly~
Current Mood: |
sleepy |
Current Music: |
Watching Uptown Girls | |
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Today I went to Riverside and hung out with my friend Natalee. We have been friends as far back as I remember. We are the same age and graduated the same year. She has been married for two years and has a one year old daughter (who is completely and utterly adorable). I'm 20 (almost!) and graduated in 2003... That is just insane. We are at such different places in our lives that sometimes it's hard for me to believe that we are the same age. I mean, I'm still struggling with boys and I'm living at home while she wonders what she's going to make for dinner. I just want to be married. Chris told me the other day that he would be shocked if I wasn't married/engaged by the time I'm 21... that's a year from now. I'm think I'm pretty ready for marriage, but I don't think I can see myself married by then. I not even dating anyone right now. I'm no where close to marriage, even though I so wish I was. Oh well... I suppose my time will come sooner or later (I just wish it would be sooner...) ~Kimberly~ |
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Oh, wow. I like him so much. Oh, I like him. Wow. We just talked for like 2 1/2 hours and it was amazing. This is not just some evanescent thing - I'm full on head-over-heels in like... and I fall harder ever time I talk to him. I just want to be with him. That's it. There's nothing else to it - If I could, I would spend all of my free time talking to him, and I would drive up to Provo every weekend to see him if I could. As my friend Travis put it, "You're smitten. You're in deep smit." ~Kimberly~
Current Mood: |
500,000,000x better than happy | |
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Yet another guy has let me down... why can't he do what he says he's going to do? Why do I set myself up for disappointment by expecting him to feel the same way about me as I do about him? Why can't I have a half a dozen boyfriends like the Scottish lady in Robinson's today said I should? Why can't all guys treat me like Scott used to? Yesterday when I was helping my mom cook dinner I singed off some of the hair on my left arm. ~Kimberly~
Current Mood: |
crushed | |
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My fortune cookie today told me that "Counting you time is not so important as making you time count." The only problem with that is I don't really know how to make my time count or what I want it to count for! I know what I WISH I could be doing with my time, but that would require me to be back in Provo... and that is not possible right now. Oh, to be Mango. I'm having a good hair day, and that makes me happy. Combine that with the fact that I'm going to look totally hot at work tonight (not that I need to, because I think there is like A guy that works at Robinson's... I just felt like lookin' so good) and I'm a happy camper. There are only two things that could make today any better: 1. a phone call from Chris (of course) or 2. a phone call from Bank of America to set up a second interview. I'm supposed to hear from them by today about whether or not I move on to the next phase of the hiring/interview process, and it's already 2:15, and no word. I'm really quite nervous. Here's hoping for the best! ~Kimberly~
Current Mood: |
 nervous |
Current Music: |
If I tell you, you'll ridicule me... | |
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Last night I worked in the men's pants department and you know what? Not a single good looking guy came through... not even an okay looking guy came through. The only people who came through were married couples or old men. The only cool person that came through was a middle aged gay hairdresser who had just lost 47 pounds and was treating himself to a pair of pants ("OMG, these pants fit like they were tailored for me!") and a pretty pink cz bracelet ("You know, I'm a hairdresser and you have to be flashy"). He made me smile because he was really awesome. I really don't want to go to work today. It is going to be so boring ~Kimberly~
Current Mood: |
 apathetic | |
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I talked to Chris today. He makes me happy. I smile when I think/talk about him. ~Kimberly~
Current Mood: |
sore | |
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